ADHD Is So Real
By Jennifer Bowman, DNP, PMHNP
Raising a child with ADHD has been one of the hardest, most emotional experiences of my life. When our son was diagnosed at age 4, we felt, overwhelmed, and unsure of what the future would look like. There were days filled with frustration, tears, and exhaustion — not just for us, but for him too.
ADHD isn’t about being “hyper” or “unfocused.” It’s about a child whose brain works differently — one filled with creativity, energy, and heart, but also constant challenges with regulation, attention, and impulse control. Over the years, we’ve learned that progress doesn’t come overnight. It takes patience, structure, consistency, and love. There were moments when it felt like we’d never get through, but slowly — step by step — things did get better.
Our son has grown so much, and so have we. We’ve learned to celebrate small victories, to focus on progress (not perfection), and to advocate fiercely for his needs. If you’re a parent on this journey, please know you’re not alone. It’s hard work — but with understanding, support, and time, there is hope.
I remember sitting in pediatric class during my DNP program seeing a kid hanging upside down on a climber on the playground, never thinking one day that would be my kid. Max was born at 32.5 weeks gestation and spent several weeks in the ICU. I remember him being a fussy baby, often difficult to soothe. He began to show noticeable behavioral symptoms around age 2. I remember standing in line at the bookstore and him hitting me in front of a line of people. He would have terrible temper tantrums, throw toys, climb railings and the refrigerator, hit me, his sister and himself. He broke multiple televisions in the house, broke doors, hit the dog in the face, and would throw things out of the window. I remember doing the dishes in the kitchen and I started to see flying objects from the floor above. Things started to get scarier when he would take off running down the street in front of cars. I remember thinking “I have 3 degrees, and I cannot manage this child”. We lost several babysitters because they just could not handle his behaviors. We found that parenting him did not work like it did for my daughter, who also has ADHD but a much different form. We tried therapy and finally resorted to medication just shy of his fifth birthday.
My husband I had enough and took our son to the pediatrician and prepared a list of things to discuss. Well, we didn’t have to go over the list because Max performed quite well that an academy award was well-deserved! He started to flip his shirt up and down, making loud noises and acting as if he was a lion or dinosaur. He finally jumped off the exam table and ran down the hall. After an hour appointment the pediatrician suggested medication and additional parenting help and even said “parenting him is even beyond gifted parents”.
One of the toughest decisions we faced as parents was whether to try medication. I completely understand why many parents are hesitant — we were too. But for our family, it turned out to be life-changing. Once we found the right medication and dosage, we noticed a huge difference in our son’s ability to focus, regulate his emotions, and connect with others. It brought us both to tears to finally see our son for who he really was. Underneath all of this terrible behavior was a kind, sweet child.
Now, he’s in 6th grade — thriving in school, surrounded by friends, and feeling proud of himself. Before medication, friendships were hard because other kids didn’t always understand his behavior, and that often led to isolation and frustration. We realized how important it was to help him build positive social experiences early on — because without them, kids can start to feel hopeless or struggle with self-esteem and depression later in life.
Medical guidelines for diagnosing and treating ADHD in children long stipulated that only children 6 or older could be evaluated for ADHD. That all changed in 2011, when the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) noted that children as young as 4 could be diagnosed and treated for the condition, too. Very young children with ADHD have more broken bones, more stitches, and more emergency room visits than children who don’t have the condition.
We worked very hard over the past several years with our son’s teachers and support team. He qualified for an IEP in school which has provided him with much needed additional support. In order to qualify for this parents needs to speak to the school about getting an evaluation. Medication is only one piece of the puzzle, and I have always said it takes a tiny village to work with a difficult child.
Things are far from perfect as we still have some behavioral issues from time to time. Sometimes it is just “boy” behavior and not ADHD which is sometimes hard to distinguish. One of the best things we have found to channel all his energy is thru sports. My husband and I were both pretty athletic when we were younger so we put him into everything we could: soccer, football and basketball. This is one of the many things we have done for our son.
To any parent walking this road: you’re not alone. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to ADHD. What matters most is finding what helps your child shine.
